What is Love?

As a teenager, I thought that love was mysterious, magical and romantic. I thought it was something that happened like a spark igniting a fire. I thought we were all playing the same game on the same field.
I had a lot to learn. We might all be looking for love but we are not all seeking the same thing. Some are looking for companionship. Some are looking to fulfill sexual needs. Some are looking for someone to take care of them . Others are looking for someone they can control. There are also those who are filling a void until the next thing comes along. The fortunate ones are those who know about love and find others who do too.
I found out that I need to love and value myself before I could be in a healthy relationship. The hot attractions may sizzle out but love lasts. If I had valued myself, I would not have let others use me or hung in there only to be neglected. I would have been valued and had a two way relationship.
For me, humor is an important part of a relationship. Life is hard but if you can laugh at yourself and share that with someone, it lightens the load. Love means to me that you feel comfortable being yourself and not fearing that the other person will leave you. Love is being forgiven for being human. Everyone has good traits and bad traits, but one has to know that other one can accept you as you are.

I care for a man now. It is not for things he has done for me but for the things he has done for others. He is a man of great love. He was married to a woman who battled cancer during their whole marriage until she passed away. He was by her side when she was treated in their hometown and in other states. They could not have children so they adopted. One is an American child and the other is one from China. He is now a single dad. Some men have biological children that they abandon but this man is so loving that he has adopted someone else's children and loves them as his own. Someone once told me if you want to know how someone will treat you, watch how they treat others. I believe that is so true!

u-turn

The road of life is full of travels and unexpected turns. I grew up in a small town in lower New York. I thought that I would graduate school, maybe go to college , marry and live in the same area. I did graduate and I did attend my first two years of college in the community college there, but then my father talked about moving to Tennessee and having a farm.
He had done dairy farming as he grew up. He had a dream of owning his own farm. His parents had been tenet farmers and maybe that was why he dreamt of own his own farm or maybe it was a need to get back to his roots. He did purchase a farm and eventually moved down after I returned from college in Kentucky. I lived three more years in New York and then moved to Tennessee.
When I was moving a boy I knew from High School pleaded with me not to move. He always liked me but for several reasons, I did not feel the same for him. I was in a bad relationship with someone who dated me and others. I would try to be independent but kept running back to this other man until I decided to move to break this cycle and move out of state. If only the man I dated had asked me to stay like my high school friend, I would have stayed.
Eventually, my high school friend married and a year later I also married. My marriage was full of drama. I had married a functioning alcoholic. I suffered neglect and putting up with him, his drinking buddies and his DUI's. I prayed that he would sober up and we would be the family we were suppose to be. We had two sons by this time. He did sober up and then he divorced me. We were three weeks short of our 12th anniversary. I dated several men over nine years of being single again. Each was worse than the last. I even had to take one man to court for an order of protection. I eventually gave up on dating.
One day my sister was talking to me and commented that is was sad that I could not find a decent man. I told her I was tired of meeting men and then finding out how cruel they could be. I told her that Dave, my high school friend, was the only one I think I could trust. Ironically, he was single. Unfortunately, his wife had passed away from cancer. She had battled it for nearly 20 years. I sent him a note to convey my condolences and to tell him he could could call me if he wanted.

One Monday evening, he called and we have been talking ever since. He even came to my son's wedding and I spent a week visiting him in New York. Rascal Flatts has a song that says the broken road led me to you........in my case....it was a matter of looking back and making an u-turn.